Oh, my dear shame

[October 26, 2023]

Oh, my dear shame.

What worlds we´ve travelled together! I was you, and you were me. For so long. For so many years, we were each other. You carried me because I needed you. Or was it the other way around? It doesn’t matter, the same way it doesn’t matter to know which one of us is writing this letter.

I made you my only friend for so long.

We are divorcing, because you don’t need me anymore.

You are so much stronger now. You are so much braver now. You´ve grown, and continue to grow every day. I am so proud of you actually. My intention was never to hurt you. My intention was always to protect you. You were like a newborn who couldn’t walk by herself. I protected you. I WAS NEVER THE ENEMY. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT. I WAS NEVER THE ENEMY. I WAS ALWAYS ON YOUR SIDE.

I was always there for you. 

Shame, that’s me. I was with you for you.

I have carried you in my arms for so long. It was me when you disappeared in your thoughts, never to remember the depth of a pain you were not yet ready to integrate. It was me who consoled you the way I could. It was me.

So, how do you say goodbye to an old friend? A dear friend who you no longer need?

You say, “Thank you!” Thank you for being there in the first place. I am me today because you were there all these years before. We are parting our ways respectfully. Without judgment. We are parting our way because we have outgrown each other. We are parting our way because the time is now. This is it—the end of you and me. From here, we will continue our respective journeys separately.

You go be and do you. And I will do the same. My love, go and shine. Go and continue to heal. Go and be bold and vibrant and phenomenal. You are life’s precious wonder. You are marvelous and I love you. I love you! Thank you!